Wonderwall
by Marissa Davis
Summary: After three years of drama and complications the season's have changed they have changed, but in the end it's their feelings for one another that never changed! RM oneshot!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey so I have another idea for an OC fic once again completely RM!!**

**It would be another one shot at the end of season 3, which means that Marissa doesn't die. So it's about Ryan and him accepting the fact that she is leaving, but does she? What happens when he realizes how he feels does he tell her in time? **

**Summary: Marissa is leaving for a year and Ryan is driving her to the airport, but he realizes something at the last second. After three years of drama and complications the seasons have changed, they have changed, but in the end it's their feelings for one another that have never changed. RM one shot!!**

**Please review!!!**

**Xoxo Summer Davis**


	2. Wonderwall

**Hey thanks to everyone who reviewed and said that I should write this and I'm sorry it has taken so long but here it is and I hope that you enjoy it!! P.S. this is for newportz-princess you are an amazing writer and I love your stories!!**

Ryan and Marissa were driving to the airport. It was the day after Graduation and she was leaving to be with her dad for a year in Greece. They had already discussed the fact that they were scared about leaving home, but they promised to keep in touch and somehow that made everything a little bit better. Ryan glanced at her as she was staring out the window probably memorizing the beautiful land and scenery of Orange County before she left.

He smiled it was good for her to get away it was what she needed, but somewhere deep down it hurt a lot more than he let show that he was going to Berkley without her. 'She needs to do this.' He kept telling himself.

_Today is gonna be the day  
that they're gonna throw it back to you_

She turned to look at him and she smiled that same beautiful smile that she always reserved for him. His insides turned up side down and he smiled back. He only smiled for her it seemed. If you asked anyone he was the brooding bad boy from Chino who stole a car, burned down a house, got into more fights than Mike Tyson, and always seemed to bring trouble when it wasn't needed.

_By now you should've somehow  
realized what you gotta do_

_She _never saw that though. Marissa never judged him by where he was from or what he did. No she trusted him and made him believe in himself. She loved him and now looking back one of his biggest regrets was never telling her how much he loved and appreciated her more. That might have been able to save their already complicated and dramatic relationship, but at the end of the day it just became too hard to deal with their difficult past.

They pulled into the parking lot and found a spot near the entrance. They both got out and Ryan grabbed her bag and carried it for her. They found her terminal and stood in line waiting for her to go through the security check out, and Ryan couldn't go past this point. This was it they had to say _goodbye. _

_I don't believe that anybody  
feels the way I do about you now_

"So this is it?" Marissa said smiling a sad smile.

"I guess so." Ryan said smiling sadly back.

"I'm going to miss you Ry." Marissa said teary eyed.

"Me too Riss, but don't worry we will stay in touch and you'll have a great time." Ryan said as he hugged her tight. He was starting to really realize that she was leaving and he wouldn't see her for a whole year. His stomach dropped and he froze still holding onto her tightly.

"Ryan, are you okay?" Marissa asked concerned, not that she minded holding onto him so tightly but she felt him froze and she wasn't sure if he was still breathing.

"W-what yes sorry I just got caught up in the moment." He said trying to sound convincing and still trying to remember how to breathe.

_Backbeat the word was on the street  
that the fire in your heart is out_

"It's fine I was just making sure." She said and smiled again.

The line started moving and there was only one more person in front of her.

Marissa still had tears in her eyes as she threw her arms around Ryan again quickly and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, before she had to give up her ticket and go through security.

She smiled sadly as she tried not to let herself cry, and Ryan waved and tried not to cry him self. His cheek was still tingling from her kiss. Their eyes were still on each other until she literally wasn't in sight anymore and walked through the tunnel to her plane.

_I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt_

He sighed sadly as he looked around at all of the people saying goodbye to their loved ones. He could feel their pain as he watched couples and families watching the people they loved leave. His eyes stung a little and he immediately brought his hands up to his eyes to wipe away any signs of tears. He took a deep breath and looked at the terminal again with the slightest bit of hope. But it was empty.

He turned around and started to walk slowly. Everything seemed to be a lot slower than usual. It was like the world slowed down and now Ryan was seeing it in slow motion. She's leaving. She's leaving. 'She's gone.' That thought shot a wave of panic through Ryan as he stopped walking.

He immediately turned around and ran back into the airport. He looked out the window the plane was still there. He had to stop it. Ryan ran up to the gate and a security guard stopped him.

"Whoa there son do you have a ticket?" He asked.

"No but-." Ryan tried to say, but the security guard cut him off.

"Then I'm sorry I can't let you past this point." He said nonchalantly.

"No you don't understand I have to stop somebody from leaving before the plane leaves!" Ryan said in a panic afraid he was going to be too late.

"I'm sorry if you don't have a ticket than you can't come past this point!" He said his voice raising a little bit. He obviously liked taking advantage of his higher ranking on this issue.

"Listen you don't understand if I don't get on that plane to tell Marissa that I love her then she is going to leave and we are going to be over for good…or at least a year while she's gone and she'll have the chance to meet someone else and move on and then my life will literally be over!" Ryan yelled angrily and quickly hoping this guy would cut him a break.

He clearly didn't care, because he just chuckled and shrugged like it didn't matter. Ryan gave him a pleading look and the guy just gave him the finger and told Ryan to leave and that Marissa could do better and it was good she was leaving.

That just pissed Ryan off even more so he got in the guy's face and said in a hushed voice that would scare anyone even the most violent criminal," Look you are so lucky that we aren't in Chino and that I have changed for the better over the past couple of years because if I hadn't then you wouldn't be standing in my way saying no, you wouldn't be saying anything at all for the matter you would be knocked on your ass out cold you fucking ass hole!" Ryan finished in a deadly whisper and walked away not even waiting to see what that sad ass security guard was going to do or say he just ran to the other side of the gate and looked out the window.

_I don't believe that anybody feels  
the way I do about you now_

He whipped out his cell phone hoping hers was still on; because his first plan didn't work maybe he could reach her this way. He pushed the number 1 speed dial and waited praying that she would answer. It kept ringing and ringing still no answer Ryan's blood started to boil with anger and regret. He had just about given up when he heard, "Hello Ryan are you okay?" Marissa asked concerned because he was calling her. She figured that he had left already.

His face broke out into an automatic smile and relief washed over his whole body as he heard her angelic voice speak to him.

"Don't go!" He said in a panicked voice getting right to the point.

"What Ry what are you talking abo-." She didn't even get to finish before Ryan interrupted her.

"Please just listen Riss." He begged before continuing.

"Marissa I was such an idiot to break up with you that night on the phone. Everything was so messed up and I didn't fight for you like I should have and I didn't listen when you needed to talk about Trey…I just hated to think about what he did to you and after everything you did for me. You saved my life in so many ways and I'm so sorry for everything! I'm sorry for coming into your life and messing everything up and for you and for Trey and Theresa I could never love her like I love you Riss. You are it for me I-I love you so much and I'm asking more like begging you not to leave me please don't go I love you Marissa and I need you here with me!" He finished taking a deep breath waiting for her response.

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
and all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

She didn't say anything and he was afraid she had hung up on him. He checked and it showed the call was still going he put the phone back to his ear, "Riss are you still there?" He asked hesitantly. He could hear the faint sound of sobs coming from the other end. She was crying. He made her cry now he felt horrible.

"Riss are you okay?" He asked softly.

He heard her sniff and take a breath before answering, "I'm fine I'm sorry that just caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to hear that." She said apologetic.

"It's okay." He said still waiting for her response. That was the most he has _ever_ talked about his feelings and he wasn't sure what she thought.

He heard her talking to someone else. A flight attendant was telling her to get off the phone. Ryan stopped breathing. What if she just left without telling him anything?

"Ryan are you still there?" She asked with a quivering voice from crying.

It took a second for that to register with him, because he was afraid of her next few words, but he managed a yeah I'm still here.

_There are many things that I would  
like to say to you  
But, I don't know how_

"Ryan I'm not sure what to say. I mean I love you too I always have, but our relationship has never worked and my dad is expecting me." She stopped and had to stifle a sob. Ryan just waited for her to say that she didn't want to be with him, for her to leave just like every one else.

"But Ry you didn't mess anything up you saved _my_ life and I owe you so much and I really do still love you, but I need to get away from Newport and all of the scandal and drama that comes with living there." Her voice cracked at the last word she was loosing it about to have a breakdown on the plane.

Ryan inhaled very deeply as he clenched his fists really wishing that security guard would come up to him and tell him to leave again.

"Please Riss, stay with me." He whispered desperately as he put his forehead against the cool window.

That did it she started sobbing, but managed to not make that much noise. Her tears were flowing down her face like rivers were pouring out of her eyes.

_Because maybe  
you're gonna be the one who saves me?_

"Ryan I can't I'm so sorry don't hate me. I just can't be there anymore after all of the mistakes that I've made and you deserve so much better than me. You should be with someone who isn't so fucked up." She sobbed that last sentence and Ryan's eyes clouded over. He hated that she thought of herself as so low.

_And after all  
you're my wonderwall_

"No Marissa you're wrong there isn't anybody else out there for me. It's you it has always been you." Ryan said quietly still holding on with some hope that she would come back to him.

"You can do so much better than me Ry so much." She said quietly as her heart shattered into thousands of pieces, but she thought he needed to find someone better even if it killed her to say it.

She heard him sigh in defeat and her heart ached for him, but she needed to let him go she loved him enough to do so.

"Okay." He said in a dejected voice.

"Have a good time tell Jimmy I said hi." He said not even hearing his own words.

"Ryan I'm so sorry I love you." She whispered desperately.

He just stopped and shook his head against the window and sighed.

"Bye Riss." He said barely audible and shut his phone.

_Today was gonna be the day  
But they'll never throw it back to you_

Marissa just sat there in her seat trying and failing miserably to be cool and collected. She couldn't believe Ryan had said all of those things to her. They were so out of the blue and they were wonderful to hear, but at the worst time just as she was leaving.

She wanted to stay with him forever, but she needed to make something of herself. To be someone that he would want and be proud of. 'He loves me now though.' She thought. They say you know when you meet the right person that you would do absolutely anything for them and love them unconditionally no matter what. That was how she felt about Ryan.

_By now you should've somehow  
realized what you're not to do_

The person that you're supposed to be with is also the person that you would be willing to change for. That is exactly why is she was leaving so she could change and be good for Ryan. For once not drag him down into her downward spiral of a life. Since day one it seems like he is always saving her from something. It was always her mother, crazy stalkers, bad boyfriends, or herself.

She just shook her head at that. She was so weak that was another reason she thought she should leave so she could become stronger and not always be the damsel in distress. But knowing that Ryan would always be there to save her made her feel so whole. She smiled despite how awful she felt for pushing him away. He was the one dependable thing in her life. Well maybe except for Summer and Seth she knew that she could depend on them too, but Ryan would always be her wonderwall.

_I don't believe that anybody  
feels the way I do about you know _

She cleared her throat after she calmed down and tried to relax. She couldn't something was horribly off, she felt herself breaking being away from Ryan she couldn't last a whole year like this. But her dad was expecting her and what if she stayed and something or someone broke them up and came between them again? She couldn't handle loosing him again, but if she left she couldn't guarantee that he would wait. It wasn't like she claimed him or anything what's stopping him from moving on and forgetting all about her while she was gone?

_And all the roads that lead to you were winding  
and all the lights that light the way are blinding_

'Because he just called you and asked you to stay you idiot!' A voice in her head screamed at her. Marissa just prayed that Ryan didn't hate her for the decision she was about to make.

_There are many things that I would like to say to you  
I don't know how_

He stayed _still_ not moving from his place. Ryan wasn't even sure that he was still breathing, but finally he realized that she didn't love him as much as he thought and started back toward the exit. As Ryan walked he passed by the security guard. He looked at Ryan with hatred and went to grab his radio as if to call for back up, but Ryan squinted his eyes and made a low growling noise daring the security guard to actually call someone else. The guy just looked scared and put his radio back on his belt and Ryan smirked while keeping the threat in his eyes as he walked out the doors without looking back.

Ryan stayed outside for a second. Not breathing, not thinking just standing there on the side so he wasn't in the way. He really couldn't believe what just happened. He knew deep down that he was still in love with Marissa, but didn't want to deal with it. He thought that the night he broke up with her a huge weight would be lifted off that he might feel free.

That wasn't the case at all. He just felt empty like a huge part of him was gone. He immediately regretted it, but knew he couldn't just call her up saying that he didn't mean it. He tried moving on with Sadie, but no matter what Marissa was still always on his mind. And at the prom when Volchock was kissing that girl he had to force every muscle in his body to not just take him out right then and there. He couldn't refrain for that long though. Later that night when he went to get the money and Volchock kept saying he knew how much he wanted to he had been dead on and finally Ryan gave in. And it felt good.

Of course Theresa was another story. The only reason he had asked her was because he figured that Marissa would ask Volchock and he was trying to move on, but Theresa was right they weren't right for each other and Ryan knew that all along.

_I said maybe  
you're gonna be the one who saves me?_

Ryan reached into his pocket and put his shaking hands around the pack of Marlboro cigarettes. He had bought them right before he picked Marissa up to go pawn her necklace. He figured he would need them after he dropped her off and he was right. He had smoked since he was a little kid, everyone did in Chino it wasn't weird. He had grown up with it also between his mom, dad, and brother it was like breathing almost.

He had quit after coming here to Newport though, it wasn't like Chino it was beautiful and fake and not at all like it seems. _She _wasn't like that though she never asked him to stop smoking that was how they had met. Ryan had that night permanently burned into his memory forever.

"_Who are you?" She asked while her brown hair swayed in the light breeze._

"_Whoever you want me to be." He had said trying to be mysterious and James Dean like._

Ryan grinned at the memory of that night. It was the night that changed everything, the night he met the love of his life. 'But now she's gone and you blew it.' He thought bitterly. He took out a cigarette and put it in between his barely parted lips.

_And after all  
you're my wonderwall_

He reached into his pocket again and grabbed a lighter. His hands were still shaking as he shut down piece-by-piece of him self. His eyes were dark and broken. Ryan was broken, but he wouldn't show it. Atwood's aren't supposed to show pain or weakness. His brother taught him that. He looked at his lighter and started bringing it up to light his cigarette when he was interrupted.

"Who are you?" A very familiar voice asked.

Ryan shut his eyes hoping that it wasn't a dream as he lit up. He inhaled deeply, the cigarette tasted good.

He turned and gave her a sideways glance and answered the exact same way he had three years ago, "Whoever you want me to be."

She was there, and she was real. Ryan immediately got all of the same feelings he got that night; even now he was still guarded and cautious. No matter what he still had a hard time trusting people and letting them in.

Marissa had managed to calm down enough to tell the flight attendant that she couldn't go and then she ran out of there hoping to catch him before he left. Her eyes were still puffy from crying and her voice was a little hoarse and raspy, but in Ryan's eyes she was still the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Can I bum a cigarette?" She asked smiling at the memory.

Ryan didn't respond he just walked over to her and handed her one. She leaned down and inhaled until the cigarette caught. He backed up a little bit he was confused why she was here and not on the plane.

_I said maybe  
you're gonna be the one who saves me?_

Before she could say anything again Ryan beat her to it, but he wasn't going to keep reliving that night it was in the past and they needed to move forward.

"What are you doing here?" He asked and coincidently that would have been almost the same thing that she would have said. It was what she said that night, but Ryan pushed that thought away.

Marissa didn't answer at first, she was still a little taken back by the fact that his voice didn't hold any emotion. She looked at him and he was looking straight ahead not at her not really at anything just staring off into space. She was worried that what she said on the phone would make him hate her and she was right.

"I uh c-came to find you." She answered quietly as she inhaled again trying to concentrate on something.

He just nodded and exhaled the smoke that filled his lungs moments ago.

"Why?" He asked as once again he inhaled trying to stop the pain from resurfacing.

Marissa just stared at him and threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it and walked over to him.

"Why do you think Ryan? Because I want to stay here with you." She said trying to understand why he was being like this.

Hearing that Ryan turned to look at her. He hadn't noticed that she had moved closer to him. The cigarette was still hanging in his mouth as he stared into her eyes. Marissa was shocked to look into his and see how they weren't their usual amazing blue they were dark almost black, she managed to shake off the shiver that went up her spine when she looked at him.

"I thought you had to go see your dad and I was supposed to move on or did you change your mind?" He asked icily.

Marissa didn't believe this. How could he be telling her how much he loved her and asking her to stay one minute and now he was basically telling her to get out of his life and being so cold the next? But she was going to find out.

"Ryan what the hell is going on?" She asked angrily.

He was still being so closed off. It was like he didn't trust her anymore. He dropped his cigarette and stepped on it and answered.

"Nothings going on, but Marissa you're confusing the hell out of me. First you decide not to go to college then we apply to Berkley together and we both get in, then you decide to leave for a year and not go leaving me to go all alone and now you're here telling me you want to stay after you tell me that you don't want me and to move on. So how about you tell me what the hell is going on!" He finished angrily letting himself feel for the first time since he got off of the phone. Only Marissa could break him and put him back together and get through his walls that he puts up.

_And after all  
you're my wonderwall_

"I never said I didn't want you Ryan! I said that you deserve better and you do and I tried to leave and let you go but I couldn't because I love you too much and I was afraid that you would move on and forget about me! But now it seems like everything you said on the phone was a lie so maybe I should try to catch the next flight since you obviously don't want _me_!" She finished her own speech and now her blood was on fire.

It was now Ryan's turn to stare. He was shocked that Marissa could really think that he didn't mean those things that he said. They were standing nose to nose now and there was fire in both of their eyes as they stared at each other.

_Said maybe  
you're gonna be the one that saves me_

"Do you really believe that I didn't mean any of that? You know me you know I don't talk about shit like that often and when I do you know that it always means something!" He said in a fierce whisper.

"Well you sure don't seem happy to see me so what am I supposed to think? I really thought that you had changed your mind I'm still not sure what to think!" Marissa said in an equally fierce tone.

"You should think that I'm still in love with you! That since I broke up with you I have been miserable and I'm terrified to go to school next year with out you. Everything that I have done in the past three years has revolved around you because as soon as I met you I knew I would never feel the same way about anyone again and I was right, but you just moved on with Dj, and Alex and then _Volchock!"_ He said the last name with venom in his voice.

"You never loved me you just didn't want to be alone so you grabbed onto me because you knew how I felt about you!" He said harshly as he took another step closer toward Marissa so now there was no space between them.

Marissa narrowed her eyes and made a low grunting sound deep with in her throat as she raised her hand not more than a second after he finished saying those words and slapped him as hard as she could across his cheek.

He turned and looked deep into her eyes and they were both panting hard. Marissa didn't look like she regretted slapping him she looked pissed off. Ryan just put his hand up that was still shaking to his burning cheek. He was stunned that she did that she never has before.

Then something changed.

The next thing he knew he put his hands on the both sides of her face and crashed their lips together. Marissa automatically grabbed both sides of his waist and pushed herself into him. Ryan moved his lips roughly against hers and Marissa's tongue traced along his bottom lip as he parted his to give her full access. She moaned into his mouth and Ryan nibbled on her lip playfully.

That went on for about two minutes it was the most mind blowing and intense kiss that either one had ever experienced. But Marissa realized what was going on and pulled away first.

She backed up and put her fingers to her swollen lips and tried to catch her breath. Ryan's breathing was shallow because he couldn't believe what he just did. But she pulled away so did that mean she didn't want it?

"I can't believe we just did that." Marissa said breathlessly.

"Me neither." He said shocked.

"Well you shouldn't be since you kissed me! Ryan you had to of known what you were doing and seriously how could you say all of those things like I never loved you! I can't believe you said that because you know that that's not true I love you more than anything in the world!" She said gasping for air between that kiss and yelling at him about it afterwards.

Ryan sighed and ran his fingers through his blonde hair. He was confused.

"I'm sorry Riss I don't know I mean maybe you were right our relationships are hard and they never work out." He said not listening to his own words completely lying to himself.

"So what now Ryan I'm here I stayed and now you're backing out?" She said hurt and equally confused.

"I'm happy that you stayed and I meant everything I said to you." He said honestly.

"You know what its never going to change is it?" He asked not looking at her. His eyes still clouded over.

"What isn't going to change?" Marissa said looking at him wishing he would look at her.

"Us. You and me it's always going to be there no matter what." He said as the realization hit him. No matter what he would never stop loving Marissa as much as he does now.

"You're right Ry I mean I can't get over you no matter how hard I try." She said as her eyes glazed over. She could feel the tears on the brim of her eyes.

"That's the problem." He said still looking ahead.

She looked at him with teary eyes and disbelieving eyes. Was he really shutting her out again after all of that?

"After all this time, after three years so much time has passed all the pain and happiness…seasons after seasons have changed we've changed, but in the end our feelings for each other have never changed. At least mine haven't." He said quietly as he turned and looked at her for the first time since their kiss.

Marissa let a tear fall despite her best efforts, but she managed a smile.

"Mine haven't either." She said as she sniffed back a sob and walked over to him.

He smiled at her as she slipped her hand in with his and intertwined their fingers. She smiled her smile only meant for him and he wiped her tears away with his free hand.

"Are we really going to do this again?" He asked as they stared at each other.

"No not like before I'm going to fight for you Ryan no matter what. If anyone tries to come between us I'm not going to let that happen." She said seriously. "I'm in this for good Ry." She added smiling.

His eyes finally got their original breathtaking blue color back. Ryan was opening up for her always for her. He was going to change to be better, tell her he loved her more and fight for her. She was going to change for him and not be so weak and to always make sure that he knew how much she loves him.

Ryan smiled his first real smile since the car ride to the airport and here out side of it he stands smiling at _her._ He pulled her into him and kissed her hard on the mouth all of his love for her melting into this kiss. She gladly responded with as much love as him. When they pulled away smiling like two people in love Ryan pulled her close and whispered something in her ear that she didn't expect to hear.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

"For what?" She whispered back.

"For saving my life." He said with more emotion and passion than ever before.

Marissa turned and hugged him as tight as she could and she whispered back, "You saved mine." She pulled back just enough to kiss him again. It was passionate and incredible. Ryan knew she was meant for him and he was meant for her and while they kissed he knew she was sent to him for a reason. She is his wonderwall.

_You're gonna be the one that saves me  
you're gonna be the one that saves me_

The end!!_  
_

**Ok that was it I really hope that you liked it and please review I love knowing what you think of the story it doesn't matter what you say!! Thanks so much again for reading!!**

**Summer**


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